#AIMNTRIBE - Nicole story

INSPIRING & IMPORTANT SELF TALK BY NICOLE FALCIANI 

"To be a young woman in today’s society is extremely difficult. It’s like there is so much pressure going on from all kinds of sources. Partly there’s of course pressure from social media but also from society, family and friends.

For me the most difficult part about being a young woman today is to love my own body. It’s been my biggest challenge and I know it’s a very difficult thing for many people out there. 

We constantly being fed with ideals of how we should look, how our legs should look, how our bums should look, what breast size we should have. 

And when you’re young it’s so easy to compare yourself with others. It is so so easy to simply scroll on Instagram and notice all the girls who look just the way you want to look. 

It’s so easy to notice all the billboards when you’re downtown and you compare yourself over and over again because we’re constantly being fed with ideals about who we should be and how we should look. 

It took me a really long time to to accept my body, to start to appreciate it for what it is and the way it is. The biggest difference for me came when I started to think of all the good things my body really does for me. I stopped thinking about how my body looks, and instead started to think of all the great things it actually can do for me. 
 
I mean, my body makes it possible for me to take a bath, to go swimming, to go for a run, to hug, to travel. It makes it possible for me to love my boyfriend, to go for long walks with my dog. My body does so many incredible things for me.
It always supports me, it’s always there for me and my body actually makes it possible for me to do everything I love to do here in life. And when I started to think like that I also stopped thinking so much about how my body looks. Instead I started to appreciate what it does, If you understand what I mean.
 


It’s a difficult and complex thing to talk about because I’m still young and I’m still uncertain of my body at times. But I really want more young women to start feeling comfortable about their bodies because when I started to truly like my own body and really accept it life became a bit easier. 
Life is already tough as it is. You have to face all kinds of challenges. Good and bad things happen in life and not liking your body and feeling bad about it are things that sort of just add up in life. And life, as I said, is already challenging as it is.

So from that day when I started to think differently about myself and of all the great things my body actually can do, life also became a bit easier. And I don’t know I don’t know if this is something that would work for everyone but it is something that works for me. And for me, it has been vital to to love my own body.
Because I have to live with it all my life. And I will live in my body, every day, for many years to come. Therefore I believe that it’s very important that you appreciate what you’ve got.

Another thing that also made a big difference for me, was that I stopped comparing myself with others. This is such an easy thing to say but such a hard thing to apply in real life. 

We’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. And I think everybody does it but when I didn’t compare myself so much to others, it became easier to love my own body.


And another thing that also has been very important to me, in this journey towards loving my body, has been that I have quit following accounts on Instagram that have made me feel bad about myself. 

When we compare ourselves to others, it mostly occurs when we’re on Instagram, at least in my opinion, or for me it’s like that it’s been about comparing myself to other girls on Instagram.
It’s just so easy, you follow loads of perfect girls, you scroll on their feeds and you believe they all live perfect lives even if it’s not true and actually not that perfect. Yet that’s what you come to believe when you scroll and I think that you should just stop following the accounts that make you feel bad. 
 
 And in my case I think I stopped following about 30 different accounts that day. Just because there was something about those girls that made me compare myself with them. It was like something was triggering me.

So I stopped following accounts that made me feel bad. I stopped comparing myself to others. I started to appreciate my body and embrace what it could do for me.

And I think these three things were the biggest reasons why I started to truly love my own body. I’m sharing this so that as many young girls as possible can hear it. Because I know how hard it can be and I know how tough it can be to constantly compare yourself to others, to not be happy with yourself and to believe your value is determined by how your body looks. 
When really it has nothing to do with that. Because your value lies within you, and not in how you are on the outside."

 

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